Saturday, December 5, 2009

Touched







I never particularly followed Revathi Ramanan (an active member of my company's internal blogging community), but occasionally I would browse her blog. I admire her English and love her ability for humor. Yesterday, I casually checked the “Toppers” on Channel 1 and found that she already quit and she did post something before she left. Something she said moved me. Yeah, I know. I wept badly when I watched that movie “Bombay”. I was shattered when I read “A Thousand Splendid Suns”. I mean, it is not really that difficult to move me. But when she mentioned Babri Masjid riots, reality struck me like a bolt of lightning. I never did believe her till the day my school ACTUALLY did get burnt down and principal did ACTUALLY die in the Babri Masjid riots in 1992 when Hindu extremists burnt down a part of the muslim missionary school which i used to attend then I knew all along that I am an average person with average ups and downs in life. I never lived in constant fear of waking up to nothing from having everything before I closed my eyes. I never even had little difficulties like not getting new shoes the next academic year or having to wear older siblings’ clothes. I don’t even have troublesome in laws like most girls think they do :)

I mean, I led a pretty comfortable life. In spite of all the comfort I have been bestowed in life, I am unhappy. I am not content with what I have today. I am not extremely happy about what I do today. This is just not me. When I say this, I speak for almost a dozen friends. We all feel the exact same way. None of us is genuinely happy with work or the way we lead our lives in general.

After I wrote so far, I fell into a reverie. I was wondering what to write and in the meanwhile, decided to email Revathi if she would mind me quoting her. I am a perfect stranger and I found it fit to take her approval before I quoted her. Before I sent the email though, I took Anju’s opinion on the content. “Anju, if you were the person receiving this email, would you be mad?” "Noooo! You sought permission. Why would I be mad!", and then she hit the bull’s eye. "You know the reason you are not happy? B’cos you don’t have any problems in life." True! I have never had one single difficulty in life well, no major difficulty, if you will and hence I am unappreciative of the good things I have had.

And that’s when it dawned on me what I have overlooked all my life. I have never had to face a challenge. I automatically grew from being an average student into a bright student. No. I never stood first in class I never allowed myself to be put in a situation that would be difficult to get out of. I never got into a controversy. I took life as it came and made most of it. I never deviated from the regular path millions take. In short, I never took chances in life.

Thanks to Disney land and to all those who told me so in so many words, I will follow my dream and take chances. I will turn a new leaf in my book of life and be happy.

Now, the question is, why did I write this out of the blue? How did I suddenly decide what I want while I have been fretting about being unhappy all these years? Well! Thanks again to Revathi (for exposing me to a different dimension in life)I promised not to quote her after the first paragraph but I find it hard not to :) and Anju though unwittingly, Anju made me understand other things, apart from the dialogue I quoted

Background picture courtesy: Sudeendra Chitta