Wednesday, June 23, 2010

[tag] Bones in the closet

When Deepu tagged me, I felt a bit sorry for my blatant begging. Had I not written that comment on her post, she probably wouldn’t have got that idea and then Mouli… I thought it was going to be cake walk. People know nothing about me. None of those who follow my blog (sadly, not many do) know me personally (Mohit knew but now he is busy with his joining formalities at IIFT, Delhi. I can write just about anything. Bathroom singing to walking to office (trying to rather). But then, I decided to write some real stuff. Stuff I identify myself with. And phew! What came out was the mostest dumbest stupidest morosest post in the history of blog kind. Seriously! Who would want to read about my deepest fears?
And things I hate? Not that it is not interesting when written well. But then, does my writing style qualify? I doubt.

So, here you go! Highly moderated, yet true, “seven facts” about myself.

    1) I have long hair. If a beautician were to bill me for coconut / oil massage, she would bill me for “Extra-long hair”. And before I got married, it was longer than what it is now. So long, that when I slept in the night, my mother insisted that I fold it and tie it up with a ribbon. Once, just before Nagula Chaviti, I woke up from sleep screaming “snake”. That nagula chaviti, my mother made me fast till evening and gave me bland dinner. We prayed that I never be harmed by snakes (we do that every nagula chaviti. Fasting part was new). Then comes the second fact of my life
    2) I talk in my sleep. When I am very tired, I develop a condition called “koyya kaalu” when asleep and wake up in pain. And being tired and half asleep, I blabber :D I don’t remember what I talk. But eventually I wake up and then rub the part which stiffened and fall asleep again.
    3) I kill cockroaches ruthlessly. I am not scared of them. I just totally hate them. Even the times I am half asleep and on my way to the bathroom, I kill the roach in my way and go on with my life.
    4) I am funny (at least, I think I am). I say the funniest things when in a group. I can make people laugh without making insulting remarks about anybody. My timing is perfect. But no matter how I try, I can’t recreate the scene in writing. So, basically, if you don’t find my posts funny, you know why. J
    5) Four already! Oh boy! This is not as tough as I imagined. But I am sure it is boring J Some copy + edit + paste from Mouli’s post. I wrote my first article / story when I was in class three. It was not original. There was this story in my moral science text book and I was very impressed. So, I rewrote it in Telugu. All I changed was the names of the characters and the scenery (moral science text book contained stories of kids in US or Europe or sometimes, Afghanistan). I created a local scenery, local problem and local characters. I showed it to my highly knowledgeable pedda atta (eldest paternal aunt) and she praised me. Then this jealous cousin (he was a cool kid. But I hated him), showed her my moral science text book. Wasn’t that mean? Anyway! My aunt still said the story was good ;) whatever! Because, after a few rants, a few immature poems, a few original stories (taken from English prose and moral science text books of higher grades) and, a few highly philosophical notes like why my teacher ill treats me at school etc… I stopped writing. Either I stopped writing or people stopped reading what I wrote. Whatever ;)
    6) Ummm what else? Not that easy :( Alrighty… now for the dumb side of me (if not yet revealed). I have no hobbies what so ever. I read, I sing a bit, I have a rose plant (which my MIL gave and checks on its status twice a week), I wash clothes (I love washing clothes), I watch TV (not watching is for me an achievement), I talk on phone to my mom and MIL almost every day, and so on But what is it that I am “in to”? What do I do to relax? What transports me to a better world? I don’t know. Dumb eh? J
    7) I am always a business first person (some people consider that rude). Latest example: I pinged a friend asking if I could tag him to this post. He asked how I was doing. I wondered why he didn’t tell me how he was doing. Then I scrolled up and checked. I never asked. I asked after the conversation about tagging him was over L The fact is that I am not rude. No Sir! I am anxious. Anxious to the point that I want to get over with the task on hand lest I forget what I set out for! (Dumb – O – Dumb)
So, that’s a bit of me.
PS to Deepu and Mouli: Sorry guys! I couldn’t live up to your expectations. If either of you were to say, “Screw expectations. You don’t even have a style!” I totally get it. Seriously.
PS: Did I say I was pretty? … What? You don’t believe it? Yea! I guess I am not that great a liar. …I am super cool too... Okay okay I am not that cool! A little cool… a bit? … Forget it! :(

Background picture courtesy: Sudeendra Chitta