How are you?

The Drive-By Greeting

A collective intervention for the socially exhausted.

We need to have a collective intervention regarding the phrase ‘How are you?’ It has devolved from a genuine inquiry into a drive-by greeting that nobody actually wants the answer to.

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve started explaining my morning only to realize I’m talking to the back of someone’s head as they power-walk into the distance.

Humorous character via Freepik

The Final Boss of Social Awkwardness

The Double-Greeting. If we spent an hour together over coffee, and then we lock eyes thirty minutes later in the school pickup line, please do not ask me how I am.

I am exactly the same as I was thirty minutes ago! My life hasn't had a season finale since we paid the check.

Can we please just agree to say, ‘Hi again’? Or, if you want to acknowledge the absurdity of seeing me twice in an hour, a deadpan ‘I missed you’ works wonders.

Let's stop the autopilot before we all drown in a deluge of meaningless check-ins.

A Better Way

To save us all from the "Double-Greeting" spiral, here is a handy menu of alternatives for when you see someone for the second time in an hour:

• The "I Missed You" — Perfect for the school run or the office hallway.
• The "Still Me" — A gentle reminder that your life hasn't changed since 10:00 AM.
• The Silent Nod — Sometimes, a respectful tilt of the head is the highest form of social intelligence.
• The "Fancy Meeting You Here" — Only to be used in mundane places, like the aisle for dish soap.

What's your "Hi again" strategy?

Do you have a go-to phrase for the double-encounter, or are you a victim of the autopilot "How are you?" loop?

Join the Intervention

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